As The Sales and Marketing Process will continue to be at the heart and soul of all businesses – I gave a Business Marketing training session at Westminster Library last week for small business owners, amongst the feedback was this brief email from C Ho who is a fashion designer …

“Hi Stephen : Thank you for your seminar last night. I took away a lot of valuable information and felt you really explained marketing in an easy to understand format. Thank you : C Ho”

… it is my pleasure to be able to break down some of the technicalities and mysteries behind the marketing process in order to enable the business owner to gain some sort of control.

Impossible is Just a Word


Hello and welcome to this post, again I have been prompted to write this post based upon conversation I have with Friends, Family, Passers By and Business Associates. It is based on the fact that all of us at some point in our lives, have dreamed of :-


o Having more than we currently have

o Being more than we currently have and

o Doing more that we are currently doing


How many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships or working that dream job or even being the ‘captain of the ship’ running our very own business? Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic. This is a sad fact in all too many of our lives, Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing. But life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can’t do this. It’s too hard. It’s too impossible. No one can do this. However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment. Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does. On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations. If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’ Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’ As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’ As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic. Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned this is because we often forget the MASSIVE ACTION which is often necessary in the accomplishment of our Goals. Yes, we start with the dreaming and then to turn that dream into reality we must act and sometimes act by working long hard hours.

Now just imagine if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one. Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.


So I would like to end here by encouraging you to dream of all that You-Can-Be and please do not get caught up with your perceived limitations. because they are just that. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.


Wishing you all success

How Is Your Self Concept?  Part Of The Foundation To Your Self DevelopmentSo how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self concept in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to Self Development, this is written bearing in mind that we all live and interact in circumstances which may not be conducive to us growing and improving. The decision therefore has to made to avoid all things which weaken us as these all work to lower our Self Concept, a high and strong Self Concept being critical in underpinning our Self Development. Here are some examples :-

Negative Work Environment : Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self concept. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Other People’s Behavior : Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self concept, as well as to your Self Development scheme.

Changing Environment : You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Past Experience : It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Negative World View : Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self concept, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Determination Theory : The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self concept and drawing lines for Self Development is a choice, not a rule or a talent.

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.
Building self concept will eventually lead to Self Development if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self concept, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self concept brings about Self Development, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self concept? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self concept, your starter guide to Self Development.


That’s all for now, look forward to ‘speaking with you again.

How Much Do You Complain? 

“Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it.”
– Anthony D’Angelo


I was giving a coaching session last week to a dear friend of mine, it was heartwarming when after much work he acknowledged that he was not taking charge of his situation and spending most of his time complaining. In relation to the quote above I would like you to think about your circumstance and those of the people around you (your friends, family, work colleagues etc) and consider the tone and theme of most of the conversations. I am willing to throw out a ‘bet to you that most of those conversations consist of quite a lot of complaining and sentiments that the current circumstances which are not to one’s liking is caused by someone else. i.e. the responsibility for one’s ‘world lies within other people’s hands.


Now let’s make this a bit more personal :- what do you do with your time? are you where you wish to be in/with your Relationships, Finances, Physical Self etc? and what are you doing to move yourself towards your ideal situation or circumstance.


This short post is to urge you to think about every conversation you have and be honest with yourself in relation to what you are doing every day to produce the life for yourself which you earn for deep down in your heart.


As the basis of my coaching focuses on Quantum Physics and the use of Subconscious Mind we do know that getting to grasp with these fundamentals will aid us in predicting our futures by creating it. Please do come back and read more and let me have your comments and feel free to sign up for the Self Development reports at You-Can-Be.Com.


To your continued success.

What Really Makes You Tick?



I have started posting here again after losing months of posts following changing over to a different hosting provider. I will therefore attempt to reproduce some of the other posts I made before. Anyway, here goes …


This post comes from thinking about the questions I receive from my Self Development clients in seminars and in private sessions.


“What Really Makes You Tick?”

Here are some relevant questions you should ask to yourself: in preparing to work on your Self Development. The seminars I run under Capid Houser are called the You-Can-Be (whoever or whatever you choose to be) seminars – because I believe just that. Most of us unfortunately settle for what has been dished out to us. We see ourselves as contented with life the way things are, however deep down we all aspire for something deeper and more meaningful in our lives.So we’re all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn’t even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

What do I really want?
The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.
Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

Should I really change?
Today’s generation has taken another level of redefining ‘self’, or at least that’s what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle? If history has taught us one thing, it’s the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn’t appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

What’s the bright side in all of this?
With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it’s a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

Am I comfortable with what I’m doing?
There’s always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn’t take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we’ll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

Have I done enough for myself?
Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you’ll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

Am I happy at where I am today?
It’s an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

How much could I have?
I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it’s more on how badly you really need it. I’d like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

What motivates me?
What motivates you? It’s an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It’s not like you can’t have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that’s it. Just try it piece by piece.

What Really Makes You Tick?
So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that Self Development is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it’s something that you really want.